Feeling Trashed? Day 3: The gift of imperfection

a repurposed heart

Friend-

I wish we could sit down and you could see my heart that has stopped longing for perfect plans …. I  am learning to embrace the gift of my  imperfect life. I don’t like this process anymore than you do but I am finding so much more joy in living in the truth of my human state. I desperately need God no matter how many years I have served him. I will never arrive at the “easy”part until the gates of heaven open for me. ( and honestly, on a bad day, I can’t wait!)

It is only when we feel trashed, when we realize we don’t have it all together, when we weep for our broken state that we find God’s power in a new way. It is such a relief to finally realize I don’t have to pretend.

You don’t have to act perfect or look like you are perfect or try to be perfect! ( whew)

My husband and I  helped run the Celebrate Recovery program of our church. Step one was to realize we are not God, to admit we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable. I know this sounds crazy, but the people who began to take this step were able to run with freedom in life! I was one of those people! Praise God! I was honored to be counted among the broken souls that cried out to God with their whole heart for help! Truly, these men and women are some of the most trustworthy and true saints, reaching out to others with the healing they have received.I learned a little secret about hitting the bottom of an emotional trash can –

When we hit the bottom, there are big hands to hold us and lift us up!

To fall before God on our face and admit we don’t have it all together is a gift. Scripture says ” Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” Even today, I am wrestling an area of my life that makes me feel trashed. It is not the intensive grief I had when my mother died, but every day it makes me feel like a failure. I sat in my living room tonight and began to admit- Oh God, I don’t have this all together! I totally admit that I am powerless to change if you do not help me! I woke up this am and finally feel the first wave of freedom as I know the Lord is coming to help me. I also confessed this area of weakness to my husband and asked for his help.

In this place, God will usher in the power of HIS spirit to do work in the deepest broken parts of our hearts.

Another gift is the opportunity to dare greatly in the fight for our faith. Will you trust and not give up ? Will you walk away from the struggles and let them consume your joy?

It is my deepest prayer you will put on your big girl panties with me and learn to fight back!

Take that! Pow! Bam! Biff! Let’s give it to those emotions that try to break us down !

I love this quote!

“It is not the critic who counts… The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; …who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”  Theodore Roosevelt

 

When fear yells, You will fail again! Tell fear that failure is a part of learning to have victory!

When anger rages, You are not enough! Tell your anger, God is enough, I will dare greatly to trust Him!

When sadness cries, You are powerless to be helped! Tell sadness God has all the power you need!

I pray like a  heroic women of the faith that you will dare greatly to yell back at your emotions with the truth.

We must get in the ring of the emotional fight and place our confidence in Christ who has already won our war.

And friend, if you need a girl who knows how to throw a big punch to your emotions, look no further. I have been known to do a little fighting back in my day. I am ready to remind you that God will give you the power to conquer the pain of failed plans !

You may “feel trashed ” with emotions but I assure you, you are most definitely God’s treasure –

Feeling Trashed? Day 1 : When my plan hits the can!

recycle

FEELING TRASHED? When my plan hits the can! 

 

Feeling trashed is a slang expression describing a painful emotional state with a mix of anger, sadness and fear.

Has there ever been an unexpected circumstance that left your heart feeling trashed?

My heart shattered when an autopsy revealed that my ten-year-old nephew died from contracting an ameba from our lake.  As the media frenzy ensued, life felt littered with mixed emotions of hurt, confusion and shame. Five months later, my precious mother Joyce died unexpectedly. This final blow of grief left my heart feeling like a worthless mess tossed to the bottom of a trashcan! This was not what I had planned for my life!

As I hit an emotional bottom, I cried out to God for help.

 

After three years of recycling my pain before God, I learned a few secrets about feeling trashed. Will you consider having a little trash talk with a Christian girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty anymore? Let’s dig into the truth of this together.

 

Our Plans hit the Can!

Dearly loved women of God experience the pain from failed plans.  Our plans must be held with open hands in an uncertain world. Precious friend, I had to learn the hard way that my plan for my life is not God’s purpose in my life. As women, we plan to be the perfect wife, mother and friend. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

 

Elizabeth Elliot was a missionary to Ecuador that endured the painful loss of her husband, Jim, speared to death along with four other missionaries. Left widowed as a young mother, I am sure this was not the plan she dreamed for her life. She would learn first hand that God could do more than she imagined with her pain.

   What was your plan that hit the can?  Was it a lost dream, marriage or friendship? As women it is so easy for our emotions to make us feel trashed with the fear of failure and insecurity of lost relationships.  Today, will you consider opening your hands and letting go of trying to be in control of that plan? I know it hurts but be encouraged! God’s purpose will be accomplished in you and through you, regardless of this situation.

Admitting to painful emotions is the first step unraveling their power. 

Repurposing prayer:

God by the power of your spirit, I release my plan that I hold so dear in my heart. Help me to surrender to your eternal purpose for my life and give me strength. Amen..