Blame is mental glue- how to get unstuck!

Blame is Mental Glue! 

blame is mental glue

When you blame others, you give up your power to change. Robert Anthony Click To Tweet

Blame is like mental glue!

It attaches your thoughts to anger, injustice

and the crippling effects of a problem.

It sticks to an image of the people who have hurt you and

limits your  focus on the person who can help you heal, YOU!

It adheres your mind to the  “wrong” of others

and ignores any wrong in your own life.

Blame is sticky business because

it can’t give you a solution

it can’t make you feel better

it can’t help you move forward in life

it can’t change your future

Blame labels you a helpless victim and never an overcomer Click To Tweet

How can we start to feel unstuck from Blame?

We can begin to detach from blame by practicing an opposite action found in scripture!

 (Colossians 3:12-13 ESV)

But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, sslander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive

You can:

Let go of blaming others and

learn to solve your own problems

seek compassion for those who have hurt you

 release your emotional suffering with forgivness

discover new options to promote peace in the future

breath in appreciation and gratitude for the good things in your life

purposefully exhale the negative thoughts

Live in the moment and not the painful past

Trust that all things will be make right in God’s timing

 

 

“Concern yourself more with accepting responsibility than with assigning blame.

Let the possibilities inspire you more than the obstacles discourage you.” Ralph Marston

 

 

A prayer to get unstuck from Blame:

God, I realize that I have been blaming (a person or a situation) for causing me pain. I acknowledge the wrong that was done to me through this person or situation and I chose to forgive them, in Jesus name. I ask that you would release my negative emotions from this situation and fill me with the knowledge that you will help me as I trust you to reveal to me new solutions and blessings in my future.

Amen.

 

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Risk Becoming Overwhelmed

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Summer is a hard time for me as I remember the loss of my nine year old nephew, Philip. He died from a very rare case of PAM- primary ambeobic meningitis contracted from lake water. The hot humidity in the air feels like a slap in my face every time I walk outside and feel the sting of reminders. Memories can overwhelm me.

Recently, my sister in law (Phil’s Mom)  posted a quote she found written in his last science report for school.

He penned these words,

“To me, science is so complicated that when I try to figure it out, I feel like I could get amnesia. But I am still so interested in why things happen that I enjoy the risk of becoming overwhelmed by it.”

This summer God has given me Phil’s own words to comfort my own heart and gain wisdom for the future! 

 

I must begin to risk becoming overwhelmed 

 

Risk becoming overwhelmed when I am  sad and don’t have all the answers ….

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

Jeremiah 33:3

Risk becoming overwhelmed when I am afraid and fear I don’t have words to comfort my family…

“As for me, this is my covenant with them,” says the LORD. “My Spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants–from this time on and forever,” says the LORD.

Isaiah 59:21

Risk becoming overwhelmed when I am mad my resources seem limited….

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:19 

Dear God-  

Even as I write these words, my fingers and heart tremble because at times, I am so scared.

Help me run the risk of daring greatly in this life, when I don’t have all the answers, when I seem to be overwhelmed with uncertainty.

Help me trust your overwhelming power, peace and joy that will enable me to live for your great kingdom purposes.

Release my hold on my small plans to play it safe in this life-

Oh God, help me risk becoming overwhelmed…

 

Thank you Phil- I will always love and remember you ! You will always be my precious nephew!


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Prayer Practice for Parenting: Using verses in a prayer as if spoken by God to your heart.

I found a letter I wrote myself during my grief counseling.  I was hurting over the ways I watched my children struggle through this painful situation. 

As their mom, I was afraid of all the ways I was failing them with the pain of my own grief.  They were too young to understand that their mom was almost paralyzed by the hurt.

My counselor told me to write the verses of comfort into a letter to myself, as if God was speaking directly to me-

The statements were based on scriptures but put in first person form-

This practice helped me personalize many of the promises of scripture in a deeply meaningful way.

Maybe you need a little parenting pick me up from the Lord?

Parenting in this day and age is a daunting task. Without Christ, it can be an near to impossible mission to raise children to walk with God in a really challenging world. I was just reading these words spoken by Jesus to his disciples,

Mathew 19:26- Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Is there an impossible situation you are wrestling in your child’s life? Are you secretly worried that a weakness in you will damage or limit God’s work in your child’s life?

I am so grateful for this reminder from the heart of Christ himself that my impossible parenting task is possible to God. As I focus on God’s power and not my own, my heart can rest in the security of God’s work in the lives of my children.I pray you will hear the words of your Father in heaven spoken to you today.

Here is an example of my prayer that I wrote.

Maybe you can take the same challenge and write verses in prayer form as if spoken to you by God?

Dear One-

Why are you so downcast and discouraged? It is I who formed and made your child in the secret places of your being. My heart for you today is to rest. Come to me with all that you hold onto, your fears, your doubts and I will give you the rest you are longing to find. I will carry your load for you. Will you stop fretting and trying to do my job in your child’s life? Only I have the power to create change by the work of my Holy Spirit. Take Heart. Do not be afraid or discouraged. I am doing a new thing. You may not see it with your eyes, or hear it with your ears. Your mind can not understand what I have planned for you but it is a wonderful plan to prosper  you and to bring you hope. My blessings are generational as I bless to the thousandth generation.

Rest today knowing your child’s future is in my hands.

 

 

Feeling Trashed? Day 2: God’s heart for you!

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 My child, I see your heart and I desire to know you in your inmost being. Before time began, I called you by name and you were mine. I created you will a specific purpose in mind for your good and  my glory. When your heart is broken, when you are battered by this world and full of troubles, don’t throw away your confidence in my care and concern specifically for you. Didn’t I tell you, in this world you would experience many troubles?  Take heart my beautiful child, I have over come the world….Take your heart and place it in my loving hands that will never leave you or forsake you. For I am the watching you and you will forever be shielded by my righteousness, held close in my hands…

Loved with an everlasting love-

(words of love complied from scriptures as if expressed directly by our heavenly Father)

Prayer list for Tanzania Orphanage

The inside walls of the Orphan's Heart Compassion Home

The inside walls of the Orphan’s Heart Compassion Home

Joy floods my heart as I envision the little faces of the children who will walk these halls. They no longer have to worry about finding someone to care for them. Warm beds will envelope little bodies, in contrast to nights spent sleeping under bushes in the dirt. The scent of hot meals cooking in the kitchen will  awaken hungry bellies as food is served . Laughter will echo through these hallways. Cries for help are silenced by the provisions in this home.

Strong love grows in my heart for these children who have been rescued and reached by our efforts on the other side of the world. Never will they fully understand how much the Lord has interceded on their behalf to raise up support through our family, a family almost disabled with grief.

Our joy seemed lost with the death of my 10 year old nephew, Phil and mother, Joyce.  Bedtime seemed to untuck emotions as hot tears melted from red eyes . Hearts were blistered with sadness. Painful memories echoed through empty hearts, instead of laughter. We desperately needed  new ways to find joy. I would pray the words of the Psalmist:

Restore to me the joy of my salvation….

Restore to my children the joy of their salvation…

Restore to us the joy of our salvation….

Have you ever hurt so badly, for so long, that your heart cried these same words?

Grief ‘s painful emotion does not  fade quickly. It oozes out slowly from the heart that has been broken with loss. If you have loved deeply, you will grieve even longer. Death can not hide love, it only exposes it’s power even greater. Love stays present in your heart even when the person you love passes away. Love tries to find a way to express it’s self even louder. This is grief at it’s finest.  Strong expressions of love beat hard against the walls of mortality as we pound our fists:

Restore to me the joy of my salvation…

Our God will not turn away from the heart that cries to be recycled from pain. He will listen. He will hear. He will heal.

Psalm 39:12 says “Hear my prayer, lord, listen to my cry for help. Do not be deaf to my weeping.”

God would answer our prayer in a most unusual way. After several years of healing, our hearts were open to live repurposed for others. Through my friend, Shannin Pickle, I was made aware of a need at the property she had purchased in Tanzania. She desired to build a home for orphaned children but was unable to find the funding. Inside, I felt a strange feeling when she mentioned this need. Was there something I could do to help?

Girls who will live at the home when it is completed!

Girls who will live at the home when it is completed!

In my husband’s heart, a dream was stirring too.

 

He came to me one day and proclaimed, “You are not going to believe this but I think God is going to use water sports in my life to save children!” His desire did not surprise me but confirmed my little nudging that God may indeed be at work in our lives to help build this orphanage. I cringed when he mentioned we should do a family kite surfing event…. I inwardly groaned and then blurted out, “Why can’t we do a walk-a-thon like everyone else?”

A kite surfing fundraiser was born that day in the Russell home and laughter began to ring out again. We had a new purpose, a goal to obtain far greater than anything we could pull off without God’s divine intervention. I could not have imagined on that day what joy God would restore to me through generosity to his kingdom. My purpose was no longer to resurrect the past but to give life to others who desperately needed to live. I was going to live repurposed to help others rejoice again.

My son training for kite surfing

My son training for kite surfing

A kite surfing fundraiser. A broken family from grief healing. A God sized dream. A reality!

Little did I  know all those times I wanted to quit fundraising that God already knew that this home would become a reality. I remember every time people would look at me funny and proclaim, “You’ll never raise any money with a kite surfing fundraiser!”God was going to send a divine wind to blow into the hearts of generous people everywhere to care about the importance of these walls that would protect orphans.

Home being constructed !

Home being constructed !

Can you say with me today:

Restore to me the joy of my salvation!

 

Printable Prayer List For Tanzania