Sew me together God!

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In this great day when most women wave banners of authenticity about their pasts, we crouch back from the honesty about our presents. We’ll tell you all about our broken places of yesterday but don’t dare admit the limitations of our today.

Lysa Terkeust “The Best Yes” 

My world feels like it is unraveling….

God stitched every part of my heart back together again after my mother and nephew died, but lately the chaos in my soul makes the stitching feel like I am ready to tear open.

With the holidays approaching, I feel the first tug of grief at the seams of my heart.

Slash!

I went over to see my new mom Fran. As I was talking to her, I reached out to touch a little curl of her hair. I told her how much I love her new little sporty hair cut. As my fingers felt the blonde lock, my heart felt cut by grief, like a pair of scissors. I had a flash back! I remembered complimenting my mother’s hair and how she always called me her “greatest cheerleader”. When my mother couldn’t do her own hair during her hospital stays, I would be her ready-made beautician. I remembered the softness of her hair in my hands as the blow dryer warmed her head. I loved the look on her face as she relaxed knowing I would make her beautiful again.

Old memories can make you feel lonely

Rip!

My heart rips every time I hear a family member question their faith in God. Deep in my soul, I want to scream when I hear the lies of the enemy to this person.  I know I should have my sound doctrine ready and my answers in tact- I know I should have my shield of faith to withstand the attack of the enemy piercing my mind with” what ifs” and “should”  Today, I had no fancy answers. I  just walked away from the conflict and sulked into my room defeated.

Family members without faith can make you feel fearful for the future 

Torn!

Life in our home is not simple right now. I miss my security and private time.  There is a lot of added pressure right now.  I feel torn trying to be so many things, to so many people. I feel unsuccessful on all fronts. I feel pulled in so many directions and my heart feels torn with different loyalties and alliances.

A chaotic lifestyle and lots of change can make you feel insecure

It’s not a fun process to feel slashed with old grief , ripped up with fear and torn with insecurity!

Can you relate to coming apart at the seams right before the holidays?

Thank goodness for the art of sewing!

A good use for me is to let me go away with my sewing machine and come back with some really new stuff.

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Last week, my husband gave me a few kites to play with in a sewing class. These kites are around $ 1200- 1500 each! The kites are made of high impact fabric specially designed to withstand extreme winds and lines that will hold up to 2000 pounds of weight.  These kites are a highly engineered work of art!

Just like a christian person, our faith is designed to withstand extreme pressure and to hold us in the strongest winds of life.

Being a Christian person doesn’t mean we are indestructible and impenetrable to the hurts of life that tear at us. It just means our soul will need to be mended by God

As I laid the powerful and expensive kite on the floor of the sewing class, it was no match for my scissors purchased from  Walmart.

One slash, one rip and it was torn into shreds. However, the sheds were about to be sewn together in a masterful plan.

With the help of Miss Paula, I carefully took every scrap and used it to create the first ever kite surfing bag, a new product line that we hope to sell.

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There was a plan for the unraveling of the powerful kites- There was a new purpose to be found even in the slash and ripping. No one is immune to the pain of emotions that tear at the fabric of our soul, but we can be mended and remade each day by the hands of God.

I am praying right now with all my heart that the same unraveling I feel emotionally, will be used by God to make something beautiful and something so useful for His purposes.

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A prayer for today :

Sew me together God, with cords of your loving kindness-

Let the fear fall apart in my life, so you can bind me to your peace-

unravel the grip of insecurity, and tie me to your faithfulness-

Stitch your words of love into the fabric of my soul –

Keep me together with the power of your spirit holding me, tightly

Amen

Have you been sewn together today or do you feel a little unraveled emotionally-

Let me know how I can pray for you!

Rory Story #2 – Four special rights of a Son

Romans 8:15

 15For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”

Rory is not my biological son. He is a boy that my husband connected with in Sunday School that has come to live in our home.  We didn’t have a grand plan for Rory but we knew we needed to give him our presence, our attention and care.

“You don’t need a plan; you just need to be present.” 
― Bob GoffLove Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World

When you bring someone in to live in your home, you give them the rights of a son. It’s not an accident, it’s a choice.

When Rory came to live inside my house, we immediately went to work trying to find the perfect room to fit his needs. We transformed my office into his personal room because it has an outside door. This way, we figured in the future, he could have better access to his room in case we were not home.

We did not put locks on his door to keep him away from us, we gave him our house key.

We did not give him major limitations or rules, just for him, but offered him the same expectations we have for our own children.

We gave him a cell phone to stay in contact with us, so we could talk to him and he could have communication with others.

We  have dinner time with him as a family and we try to make him lunches for work- There is simply no other way we can do ministry in our home.

In all honesty, this kind of vulnerability has been difficult and even a little scary.

Home ministry is not like church where you can show up and then leave when it’s over.

It’s 24/7 and 7 days a week.

Home ministry requires major adjustment to your entire life and it’s not something you can “spin on the side.”

“But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” 
― Francis ChanCrazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

Our Father God did the same for us and quite frankly, it’s overwhelming to me how he opened the doors of heaven and ushered us right into his home.

God gave us full rights and privileges of a son, an heir to the kingdom-

He didn’t just shove us into a corner and say” Stay there until I can make sure you are trustworthy.”

God ushers us into heaven with Christ himself preparing a place, or a room just for us.

But wait, there was more……It wasn’t just  room in heaven but a new lifestyle.

1.) Ephesians 1:3: A son gets the key to blessings that His father earned.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

2.) Ephesians 1: 7 A son is shown grace for a lifetime. 

7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,

3.) Ephesians 1:8 A son receives special wisdom from his parent!

8which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight

4.) Ephesians 1:13 A son receives a part of you that will never be taken away! 

13In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit

After taking in Rory, I have learned the cost of  risky love on God’s part. God took us in, off the street of our own destruction, full of sin and potential for major mistakes. He took us in when no one else wanted us and yet, was fully equipped to help us.

He gave us the rights of a son and I guess that’s why I am learning it’s the only way to truly show love –

I wonder if there has been a person in your life that you have given the rights of a son too?

Did they respond with appreciation or did they reject that love.?

Don’t give up in your efforts to bless, forgive, lavish and fill that person with the love of God.

Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love.